I learned from you that I do not crumble…I learned that strength is something you choose…All of the reasons to keep on believin’…….Miley Cyrus ft Billy Ray Cyrus I Learned From You
I actually did not intend for this to be a blog. Because… I don’t know… maybe because I never talk about it ….This is about my parents and me. My dad, in particular.
Once upon a time, there was a girl, 20 years old, who fell in love with a 47-year old man (who had to divorce, but nothing would stop them). They settled down, got children and married. Quite an ordinary tale so far, isn’t it? I am one of their children, the eldest. I don’t remember much of my father. He was strict, but righteous. Browsing through old photos, I see we did the typical things a family would do.
That all changed when I was 9 years old. My dad had a stroke and he went from a healthy man to a sick man. He couldn’t read, write or talk. We, as little children came to the second place. My dad came first, of course, with all the care he needed. My mother wouldn’t abandon him, so she abandoned her own life. To me, this whole period, until he passed away when I was 19, is one big void. We were ashamed to have a dad who was old and sick, and we were never allowed to bring friends back home. School was our refuge for whatever happened back home.
Looking back at my parents’ decision to get married and have children, I cannot help but think that my dad was being selfish. He pursued his own happiness at that time, but never considered the future. What would happen if he would fall ill, how would that impact the lives of my mother and the children. Maybe he thought he would be forever young … Yes, I am grateful for my life. But the void of having been young without a father remains. We never experienced the typical teenage life.
I have had lengthy talks with my mother, her years spent caring for her ill husband seemed to last forever. She was only 30 when it began, actually in full bloom. I think many men and women don’t fully understand these things. I know that young people can get ill too, but with the elderly the chance is a thousand times greater. I am 44 now, and I dread the idea of marrying a 71-year old man, just because of my experience 🙂
PS All fathers must be proud of their daughters flying out like a free bird, going forth and pursuing their dreams!